Looking for One Safe Place

How many roads have I traveled?
How many dreams have I chased?
Across sand and sky and gravel,
Looking for one safe place.

Will you make a smoother landing?
When you break your fall from grace?
Into the arms of understanding,
Looking for one safe place.

Life is trial by fire,
And love's the sweetest taste.
And I pray it lifts us higher,
To one safe place.

How many roads we've traveled?
How many dreams we've chased?
Across sand and sky and gravel,
Looking for one safe place.


from Marc Cohn's One Safe Place

Two Years

Yesterday was our seven-hundred-thirtieth day. Twenty-fourth month. Second year. Second anniversary. Whew! Never hoped to be with someone this long. I cooked a simple dinner for me and Dub Dub. He came from work and spent the night in my apartment. It was a nice night. I remember the first time we spent the night with Dub Dub. I remembered how I lay my head on his chest and listen to the beating of his heart who constantly and always remind me that Dub Dub loves me. And if I can't hear his heartbeat, it means his far way.

I Love You

He said "I Love You" not in a song but in a chocolate cake. He bought me a cake. We both like chocolate.

Awwwwwwwwwwww! That's so sweet! I love you too, Dub Dub.

A Year and Eight Months..

I suprised Dub Dub with a cake from Red Ribbon. I bought the White Forest which was advertised on TV. Hehehehe...

Hot sex after a sweet cake? Hmmmm... I won't mind.. *wink!*

Lonely As A Cloud?

I don't remember what day it was. I don't remember what time it was. All I know is that I'm in love with him and I will stand by his side as long as I can. Try to love him with a love that last a lifetime.

He was tired. Sound asleep. I was watching the TV and was taking pictures of me. I like the outcome. He was on the background. I slip in bed after and made love. Hehehehe...

One Thoughtful Gesture Lasts A Lifetime

Saw this one inside his sling-bag. Remembered this card that a gave to him. I also wrote a letter at the back of this card. I'll post it too..

An Afternoon Trip

Jaypee, Dub Dub and me went out yesterday afternoon. We went to lots of places. It has been a long time since I saw him. The last time we met was last December. We first waited for Jaypee to finish taking his shower. While getting bored of waiting, Dub Dub and I decided to take few photos. Here was one outside Jaypee's house.

When Jaypee finally went out, we decided to go to the seashore. And this seashore was the Leyte Gulf and is part of the Pacific Ocean.

I took a picture of him and Dub Dub. We ate ice cream after to cool ourselves. Dub Dub had chocolate, I had vanilla and Jaypee had ube. We ate Selecta Cornetto for only P20. Commercial models in the making. Our in our dreams... Hehehehe...

Nothing beats drinking a couple bottles of beer with a friend. So, we drank, ate and sang songs. I almost lost me voice. Hehehehe...

Here are the "Drunken Singing Masters"

Dub Dub, Jaypee and Me

Swinging our drunkeness up, up and away!

Swinging by love.

Candid Photo

A candid photo by the deep well. Bow!

I was cleaning my flip-flops by the well. It got muddy and I was going to use it.

Our First and Forever...

Today is our anniversary. I am so happy to be with Dub Dub for a year now. We celebrated our dinner last Sunday in Sunburst in the Terraces.

We ate at Sunburst. They're famous for their chicken meals. Hehehehe... We ordered chicken. I had my Double Rib keel and he had Double Wings. We ordered our favorite lumpia, too. I was so cozy. The food is fine. It was not expensive. I don't know what to write here except that I want Dub Dub to know how much I love him and how that love grows every single day.

Dub Dub is with me through good times and bad. He is a catch. A perfect catch.

This was what I ate double rib keel with coleslaw, sweet potatoes and a cup of white rice. Nice chicken. I had a good meal. Alrighty???

And this was what Dub Dub ordered, double chicken wings. Well, nothing else have wings in here because they serve only chicken meals. Hahahahaha...

Dub Dub's Birthday

It was his birthday yesterday. I was on leave from work. We had lunch at his cousin's home. We bought prok and some herbs and spices. Then we cooked for everyone. I cooked my lumpia for everyone to taste.

I was glad her cousin liked it.

Why Do I Love Him?

What a tough question. I don't even know how or where to begin. I'm not sure if I could possibly find the right words to express what or how much I feel for him, let alone explain why I love him. I don't believe the English language has all the words I would need.
Why do I love him?
I guess I just do. I love him just because. I love him just because that's the most natural and possible thing to do.
I love him.
I love him because he's the most incredible, wonderful, amazing and fantastic guy I have ever known in my entire life. I love him because he's sweet, charming, smart, witty, and has a great sense of humor. I love him because he's so cool he's hot.
I love him because he makes me smile. I love him because he makes me laugh. I love him because he makes me happy. I love him because he's the one and only guy who has ever made it through my wall and seen right through my mask. I love him because he accepts the real me, imperfections and all, and still appreciates me for who I am.
I love him for being my friend. I love him because I could be whatever I want to be in front of him. I love him because we could talk about anything and everything under the sun.
I love him because I feel safe when I am with him. I love him because we are comfortable with each other. I love him for giving me a helping hand when I had to pick myself up, but couldn't. I love him for offering his shoulder for me to lean on to when I had to be strong, but wasn't.
I love him for telling me not to drink too much alcohol, then pretending to be mad at me when I did drink too much. I love him for telling me not to stay up too late at night because it wasn't good for my health. I love him for text messaging and sending me sweet and mushy messages. I love him for those times when he would call or text me just when I was thinking of calling or text messaging him, when I was feeling down, or when I was missing him, like he has gone psychic all of a sudden.
I love him for the sweet moments we had. I love him for always making me feel better, about myself and life in general. I love him for making me feel special. I love him for making me feel loved. But most of all, I love him for making me feel. I love him for making me realize that I am capable of feeling this way and this much for someone. I love him for making me feel alive.
So, why do I love him?
I love him because he's all of these and more. Much more than anything else, I love him because he's everything. He's everything...but mine.

Lub Dub Lub Dub...

Break Ups 101

Who says breaking up is fun. The end means the beginning of mourning and healing for both people. If the break up was mutual both people will experience a period of adjustment where they are getting used to no longer being together. If the break up was not mutual the person who ended things may be dealing with guilt and feelings that they may have made a mistake. The person being broken up with will definitely have to adjust, first to being rejected and second to life without somebody they still care for. How do you get through those first few weeks? Here we list eight essential things everybody must do in the early days of a break up to let the healing begin.

1. Avoid the former love. Yes, avoid. No, this isn’t being immature. Seeing your former flame can bring out emotions and may cause you do to or say something you will regret. In the first few weeks the best thing you can do for yourself is not be where you know they will be.

2. Talk out your feelings with close friends. Get everything out so that you won’t hold it inside. Your friends may get sick of hearing you talk about the situation but you need to let out all your feelings and thoughts or they may come back to bite you later.

3. Cry if you want to. It’s OK to cry over a loss. Don’t hold back, let the tears roll just do it in a safe and private place where it is unlikely to get back to your ex. You don’t want your tears to be used as a guilt trip. Their purpose is to cleanse you of any pain not make your lover come back.

4.Let go of mementos. Put away or give away anything and everything that reminds you of the relationship. Hide them out of sight so they will be out of mind until you are able to remember the relationship without longing for it to still be going strong.

5. Don’t slip up and get together with your ex. When you are feeling sad or missing a relationship it can be very easy to fall back in to the arms of your ex but NEVER do this. This will only set you back and let’s face it; if things ended the relationship wasn’t perfect to begin with so why would you want to rekindle things?

6. Focus on all the things about your ex that drove you crazy, turned you off, or that you just plain found annoying. Think about these things often and replay them in your mind over and over. Dwell on them. It will make you feel better to remember that your former flame was not perfect and that there are things you won’t really miss.

7. Think about the mean, cruel or rude things your ex may have done in your relationship. Really give these things play in your memory. Remind yourself that somebody who truly cared for you would not have done such thoughtless things and tell yourself (over and over) that you are better off without that kind of ego crushing behavior in your life.

8. Maintain a strict no contact policy and stick with it. Don’t pass notes through friends. Don’t make any calls. Stay away from instant messaging or text messaging on your cell. Just don’t contact your ex until you are totally and completely sure you no longer want to be with him or her. It is the only way.

Mending a broken heart is not easy but it can be done. Just stick to the game plan outlined above and before you know it you’ll be just fine. Break a leg! *wink!*

Christmas Magic

I can feel the cold wind sweeping the bleak streets as I walk. The clouds dim and the Winter stars are far less brighter than the Summer stars. Christmas breeze is blowing , makes me reminisce my childhood Christmas years, those wonderful things. I can feel the child in me that makes me smile as if the years never came and time was taboo. The Simbang Gabi that I missed much, since I decided to move into an entirely new place afar from my family, relatives, and friends but of course, with new friends around to cheer my day up; the puto 'maya', cocoa, and the free coffee offered after each Simbang Gabi session, the Christmas songs that hum the holiday air, me , my sister with my neighbors and cousins doing the Christmas carols at places where we don't have any acquaintances at, crafting Christmas lanterns with classmates, waiting for Mum and Pop to prepare the things that we love to have and eat. My point is, I missed my childhood Christmas years. It was the best ever. The memories linger in me. A time that people from different places come home for something that even they can't explain. No explanation needed. There is something in this season that we don't see in other holidays -- Something that makes us love. Even adults have no time to share their hardships and is always on the go to share how lucky they were to see the people that they like and do what they love to do, depicted on smiles that fit the season of love. Time for little children to extend their arms towards generous people -- which we call ' assumptive attitude' Hmmm! Why didn't I think of this every time I pitch my sales to customers? Hehehe...

I have to tell you that I'm a big fan of St. Nicholas with his reindeers and I believe in the magic that it brings to the heart of each and every being.. my biggest secret, actually. The story simply touches my heart and anyone's heart who believes in it. Influenced by the Western culture, stockings became a part of our lives or soccer knee socks that we hung on the windows believing Santa is just around waiting for you to go to your slumber and would tip toe and would pass through the chimneys without getting dirty and put the gifts equivalent to the deeds that we did from the start of the year, the more obedient we are, the wonderful our gifts are. . Imagine the magic.... But I believed in these little things that makes me and my family happy and make people, who believe in their children's happiness, happy. With these little things makes life so big that makes us too busy to check on other's fault and always find goodness in very individual. MAGIC right? hehehe. It seemed to me that I'm here in Wonderland or the Disneyland but never... because I was in North Pole where it's cold, where I saw the abominable snowman and where the hearts were the warmest; where no evil could disturb the happiness that I felt . Dreaming of those years where me and my cousins would watch the gifts laid underneath the Christmas tree and spend time, before going to bed, thinking of the present that's inside of those beautifully wrapped gifts. And pray each night that my robot or my GI Joe is in that box. I assume you would smile on these wonderful little things that makes us happy that you can relate to.

Nothing compares to the thrill that it gives each and every one of us every time the BIG people gives us a 'Go' signal to open those presents. The thrill maybe simple as it may seem ...but magical. Even I, in my young adulthood, simply can't explain how and why. But I won't dwell thinking on the reason. As long as I see the people and feel myself happy, then that would make me happy for one reason. The season has a reason to make us smile and happy.

Hope you enjoyed your every Christmas experience. I've enjoyed mine since I was a kid. Have a merry Christmas always.

Gifts 'Neath The Tree

That's me in the red shorts holding out a gift wrapped in red. I have gifts for everyone. One for Dad. One for Mum. One for my sister. And for my Dub Dub. That gift I'm holding if from my Mum. I think know what's inside. Dub Dub will be spending Christmas with his family in the city. I'm celebrating Christmas here in my home town. It is very cold here when it's December. Sparkling lights all over town. Children's carol fills the air. Here I am, by the Christmas tree. Hoping to see Dub Dub by my side. I miss him and he'll be coming after Christmas.

Wow! Look at those gifts. Our very first Christmas with all these beautiful and nicely wrapped gifts underneath our tree.