Jealousy and Insecurity?

I was talking to Dub Dub last night after we had dinner. I was asking him about his very first boyfriend and how they got to know each other. I just don't know why but every time I ask him about it or every time I think about his ex-boyfriend I feel so jealous. What happened was he met Jonathan in the public swimming pool. He was attracted to him because he had a nice body. He made the move to get Jonathan's mobile number. I continued to ask him why he asked for his number. What was he after Jonathan? He said it was all about lust. All about sex. He asked to stop asking him about Jonathan because it will only hurt me in the long run. He told me past is past and I should dwell in that fact. He told me that I was way over different from Jonathan or from all the boyfriends that he had. I'm his sixth boyfriend and he is my fifth. He is way different from all my other boyfriends too. He is the sweetest guy I've ever known. I wanna keep him here in my heart forever if possible. I wanna be with this guy. I wanna be with someone worth all the love in the world. I wanna be with Myqel. The one I'm willing to give my whole heart too. I miss him so much. He'll be home soon. I remember his message last Tuesday night. He was telling me how he missed me. How he wanna be always beside me. How he wanna wrap his arms around me. How he love to kissed me and how he wanted to rest his head on my chest. He told me not to worry will be living together soon. We will be with each other, day-in and day-out. I miss him. *sobs!* Oh my, a tear just rolled down my cheek. I hate being very emotional every time I update my blog. Hahaha! I'm waiting for my shift to end. It's 6:04 on my watch. I need to be next to him. I wanna see him sleeping soundly beside me. Where I can feel his arms around me. When we can breathe the same air. I wanna be with this guy. I wanna be with Dub Dub. I wanna stay forever in-love with my sweet prince. My sweet Myqel.

Apart From Each Other...

Dub Dub will be away for a while about three days. He will be going with his grandmum to their resthouse in the farm. *sigh!* I will be missing him big time. After my work, I went home. It was around 8:45 in the morning. I hit the shower to freshen myself up because he decided to come to our room before he went to school for his demonstration. We were exchanging SMS while I was lying on my bed. I dozed off and when I woke up it was already 11:30. I saw his last two messages and replied to it as soon as possible. He told me that he'd finish his demo by 3:00 p.m. and that he'll be fetching at the gym after school. I was just browsing the internet in the gym and exchanging messages with him. I asked him where exactly he was. He replied; "I'm outside looking at you!". I turned around and see my Dub Dub smiling and his sweet sleepy Spanish eyes made me fell-in-love with him again. I picked-up my gym bag and hurried down to met him. He opened his arms and I rushed down to met his waiting arms and we squeezed ourselves into a tight-warming hug. He was telling me how he missed me. I was telling him that I will miss him big time. I asked him how his day went. He said it was okay. He asked me how the gym was. I told him it the usual. People here and there trying to get the best shape in their life. Hahahaha! Anyway, back to our story. *wink!* He put his arms around me like he always do. The good thing about Dub Dub is that he has no pretentions of showing how he feel for me. He may not be expressive with words but I know he loves me dearly. He shows it through his actions and gestures that he does every single day.

Sex and Being Apart...

Dub Dub will be away for a while about three days. He will be going with his grandmum to their resthouse in the farm. *sigh!* I will be missing him big time. After my work, I went home. It was around 8:45 in the morning. I hit the shower to freshen myself up because he decided to come to our room before he went to school for his demonstration. We were exchanging SMS while I was lying on my bed. I dozed off and when I woke up it was already 11:30. I saw his last two messages and replied to it as soon as possible. He told me that he'd finish his

Little Things Mean A Lot

Dub Dub and I had to catch with our friends to Marco Polo for a fashion show. We were dog late already that we have missed the whole show. It was kinda disappointing for Dub Dub since he wanted to really see that fashoin show. My Dub Dub designs and decorates a lot of occassions so he would have wanted to see the boquets that the brides were holding. I wish he had finished earlier. Anyway, after there we went down to eat at McDonald's, our usual hang-out. I'm financially challenged as of that day until Wednesday since my pay-out date will be on the 30th still. My Dub Dub will be giving me "life-support" 'til we get there. We were with our friends. It was really nice seeing all of them after a looooong time that we never showed up. I was so busy with work, gymming, sleeping and spending time with my Dub Dub. He was also busy with his decoration gimmicks and all that. He was telling me yesterday that he was sorry because he could not spend time with me for the past few days. I told him that it was okay. He also has to spend a time for himself and the things that he enjoys. He was also thanking me for understanding his situation. I made sure that he knew that I was not disappointed and I did understand the situation. I'm alwasy happy that Dub Dub and I have been in such open communication with each other. I always tell him that we should clarify things between us if there is a bit of confusing that is happenning. My Dub Dub is not a mind reader and I not one either. We agreed that we should always point out what we want and what we need. If one is disappointed, he should tell his partner. The word "okay" is an overused word. One person may say I'm okay but he was really not okay. I remember one time when I was telling Dub Dub about the pictorial for a porn mag that my friend Ricky was offering to me. He went silent and then just sent me an SMS telling me that I should not talk about that stupid pictorial because it will just gave him paranoia and that he doesn't want to lose me. I asked him if he was okay. He told me he was okay but I guessed that something was wrong. He may look okay in the inside but he may be one big confused and hurting person on the inside. What I did? I dug out deeper into his heart. I looked into his eyes and ask him sincerely to tell me what's inside his heart. He poured his heart out. He cried so much and the I saw in his eyes the sincerity of his heart and the purity of his love for me. I know that by doing that I opened a door into his heart and I also opened a door to his heart. He was telling me also before dinner that I know him that well already. He noticed that there were times that I know what he feels. When his mad, when his disappointed or when hurt. He feels that he should not be telling me if he feels those things because I know all that. I told him that it doesn't work this way. We should always to anything between us. Anything that may affect us both. Anything that may compromise our relationship of put everything in jeopardy. Loving is protecting your loved one from getting hurt. Dub Dub and Lub Lub made sure that we protect that precious jewel we have for each other. Try your best to keep that fire alive between you and your partner. These little things may end a relationship or may keep the relationship stronger and better every single day. Why? It is because these little things mean a lot.

What's Your Favorite Porn Movie...?

Haven't seen Dub Dub in a while. He'd been busy lately. He had lots of stuff to do. A lot of commitments here and there. He is not even with me now. He has to go to some. Last night, he went to our room. I woke up with his voice calling out my name. I opened the door and saw me in my underwear. I love sleeping the my underwear or sometimes in the raw with Dub Dub. He was smiling sweetly and I can't help but fall all over again every time I saw his smile and his sleepy Spanish eyes. I went back to bed and with the lights on, he started to take off his shirt. I made sure he knew I was looking at him doing it. He gave me that making-me-fall-in-love-all-over-again look which gave made me rush from zero to a hundred. I love this guy so much. He was still wearing his shorts when he knelt by the side of the bed. He was smiling and then he bent over to kiss me. We were kissing each other. Savoring each others lips and feeling each other heartbeat. He was kissing me while he was fondling my crouch with his hand. He went down my nipples and started to suck it. He licked it passionately while he started to put his hands into my underwear. I was so hard. He pulled down my underwear and exposed my hard dick. He kissed me again and then i reached for his shorts. I unbuttonned his shorts and lo, he wasn't wearing any underwear at all. I gave him a sheepish grin and then I bit my upper lip. My indication that I longed to have his dick in my mouth and then in my tight-boy pussy. We kissed again and then I pulled him into bed. We started making love. We missed each other that I felt the passion that night. He went down on me. He started licking my belt of Apollo. He licked my abs and then my belly-button. I know he missed me and my body so much. He licked every inch of it. He just missed one thing. Hehehehe! I was hoping he'd suck my dick but he forgot so out of my "horniness" I asked him if he could give it a blow. He was glad to do it. I was moaning in pleasure. I missed him doing that sweet thing. I pulled him up then I laid him on the bed. I went on top of him. I kissed him while I hump my way unto his own dick. Feeling every tension with our two hard-on's rubbing each other. I could cum if I want to but I just prolonged the pleasure. Doing my best not to cum. I went down to suck him nipples . I sucked hard. I went down his abs and licked his belt of Apollo. He was moaning. He was calling out my name. I played with his balls and sucked each one of them. I went down and I started rimming him. I played my tongue into his ass hole. I licked, sucked and went hardcore on his tight-boy-pussy. I went back to his manhood and started to suck the mushroom head. He was moaning every time I put it in and out of my hot mouth. I did deep-throat too. He liked it very much. I went hardcore on that 6-inch prick. Sucking it like the last dick that I would ever had. He was so horny that he whispered. Grab a chair and we'll ride into orgasm. I gave him a sheepish grin. I pulled the chair. I positioned myself. He then put down a pillow as kneeler. I sucked on those beautiful thick meat. Lubricating it with my spit. I lubricated my ass with my spit. He knelt in front of me. Positioned his dick in my ass. He started to enter. He started to straighten my ass. First, was the head. It hurt a bit but I was okay. We haven't duckweed for days so my ass went back to normal. He pushed forward. I closed my eyes in anticipation. He pushed more and then he was inside me. He paused, looked at me straight in the eye. We kissed passionately. Then he started pumping. Slowly at first. In and out he went. I was holding my breathe in rhythm to what he was doing. I told him to fuck me harder and faster. He went faster. I was in pain and pleasure. He hugged me tight. My legs wrapped around his body. He fucked me like crazy. The chair moved. He went faster and faster. We were in heaven. I was whispering his name. I was telling him: "Myqel, I like it! Ahhhhh! Faster! Fuck me harder!" He responds: "Matt, ahhhhh! I like it! It's tickles me! Ahhhhh!" After about 20 minutes of sweating he shouted: "I cumming Lub Lub!" "Jerk off! Cum with me!" So, I jerked off and we came together. He pulled me into bed. His dick still inside my ass and we dozed off to dreamland. When we woke up? It's another story. Hahahahaha! That's the consequence of being in love. *wink!*

I Swear I Love You...

If I can't hear your heartbeat Dub Dub, it means your too far away...

Real Boys, Kiss Boys...

I Miss My Sweet Prince...

I just got off the gym. I was wearing his shirt. I miss him so much. I just wanna be with him day-in and day-out. He won't be aroung 'til late in the evening. I forgot to ate my lunch, damn it! I just sleep the whole day. I work during night shift and I usually sleep a lot during the day beside going to the gym. Today was just different. We turned to months. Yipee! He sent me a message after we greeted each other. He asked me this: "Are you willing to spend another month here in my arms?" I replied: "I would like to spend forever safe in your arms?" Awww! How sweet! That's why I call him sweet prince. My sweet Dub Dub. My sweet Prince. My sweet Myqel. Well, I'll have to get back to sleep. A lot of love making in a later! *grin!* I'm off to dreamland. I wish I'm resting my head on my sweet prince's chest. Where I can only hear his heartbeat lulling me off to sleep...

Two Months Tomorrow...

Yipee! Turning two months tomorrow. I haven't noticed though. It's been two months but for me it seems like we've been together for so long. I was very happy today. Though, I won't be seeing him until tomorrow evening. I missed him so much last night. *sigh!* I really love this guy so much. We're thinking of having a date. Just a simple one. Anywhere would do as long we're together. Now, isn't that sweet?

You Won't Lose Me..

I fell asleep waiting for my Dub Dub to come to my place. Again, he was watching me while sleeping in my underwear. I guess he was turned on that he went up to me on the bed and woke me with a kiss. He was in his underwear too when he crawled into bed and started to make love to me. Hahahaha! Well, I won't be giving any details about what happened because I will be writing something more important than passion and sex. (But, I think sex is important, too. Hahahaha!) Kidding aside, now here's what happened. After having lunch, we went our separate ways. I went to the gym while he went to the next city for an interview for a new job. And you know what happened? He got the job! I was so happy for my Dub Dub. He picked me up in the gym, as usual. As we are about to go eating-out, he remembered that he had to go home and give Diggy and Lenden their medicines. So, I suggested that I go home with him because I also missed his nephews. He was preparing their dosages when I receive an SMS from my friend Ricky. Ricky was offering me a job where I can earn a bit of money. I will be posing as their nude model for videos and photos to be sold in Europe. I shared it to Myqel. I didn't know it hurt his feelings and made him feel bad. After he gave then medication, he just disappeared from the room. I just received an SMS from him saying; "I don't wanna lose my alch3mist! Please don't tell me the details of that photo shoot because it will only make me feel bad." My heart broke with those words. I didn't know what to say. I went out the room and looked for him outside. I saw him lying down on his bed. He was sad. I asked him if everything was okay. He told me that everything wasn't right. He had mixed bad emotions. I wanna hug him at that instant but I can't since his nephews would see us. So, I suggested that we go home so that we can talk. When we got home, I run unto him and gave him a kiss but he tried not to kiss me, I just gave him hug instead. I know something was wrong. He laid down on my bed and I felt the sadness in his eyes. We agreed a long time ago that we shouldn't keep any secrets between the two of us. So, I told him that we should talk it over. We were sitting on the bed together. I was facing him and looking in his eyes. I saw the sadness. I could cry looking through those eyes. I asked him to tell me what he was feeling. He never said a word. I asked again. He never said a word, as if he haven't heard. I told him that I don't to see him so sad. It breaks my heart to see him so gloomy. I hugged him tight and I started to get teary-eyed. He hugged me also and then he started to cry. He was in tears. It broke my heart again. He was telling me not to go with the photo shoot. He is contented already with what we had. He is okay if we take the lowest accommodation for the ship back home. He told me that my salary is more than enough for both of us. We don't need extra money! He doesn't want me to go nude just for extra income. He was also telling me that I am the fourth person who told him about a photo shoot and his other relationship ended because of that excuse. He was so afraid to lose me. He never felt like this before. The last time he was so in-love was with his ex-girlfriend. He was sobbing for a long time. It broke my heart so much to see him crying. All I could do was to hug him so tightly. Constantly assuring him that I will be at his side. That I will be staying with him and that he is never gonna lose me in anyway possible. I saw the love in his eyes. He loves me more anything in the world. When he felt better, we ate dinner together, then we slept in the raw before I went to work at 11 o'clock in the evening. I kissed him good night and I whispered "I love you!". I will be off work soon. He'll be asleep while he waits for me, and I'll wake him up with a kiss from his sweet alch3mist. I love you my sweet prince.

Enjoy Your Time Together...

Dub Dub and Lub Lub were talking last night. That was us??! Hahahaha! We were talking about a lot of things. Dub Dub plans to move with me when he gets a job in the city. He was telling me how he missed the time he had with me and my family. My Mum and Dad told him to call them as Mum and Dad, too. He was so happy to be at home with me and my family. He was also telling how he wants to help fix our home. He really felt a home with my family. This post will be short, I know. I'm speechless. I can't find the right words to express how Dub Dub enjoyed the time with me and my family. He also liked the shrimp that Dad bought. He was surprised to see shrimps for lunch on the day that we arrived home. Dad also cooked shrimp in coconut milk last Sunday. I had a great time with my Dub Dub. This was our very first experience of traveling with someone you love. It was nice. It was sweet. It was a lot of fun. How Dub Dub expressed how he feel for me was everything I ever dreamed of. We kissed on the bus. We teased each others crouches on the bus and we giggled at everything that we did. I would agree that successful relationships are those which have not only been nourished by love, trust and understanding. But also those which have been nourished by togetherness, openness, fun, laughter and most especially time for each other. Whether, you were together for five minutes or together 24/7. It doesn't matter. As long as you enjoy each other's company. As long as you love being with your partner. It doesn't make any difference. It enhances the relationship more. So, I spend time with my Dub Dub. I make time for him because I love him so...

Love and Tears...

It was a beautiful Monday morning. Cebu here we come. We were so excited and so passionate as well. *wink!* We were teasing each other on the two-and-a-half hour bus ride. Trying to sneak into each others crouches. Hahahahaha! We were so passionately in-love that even staring into each others eyes or whispering words of endearment or even a slight kiss on the lips would give us erection in seconds. It was so weird because we haven't felt that way before. We were so passionate about ourselves that we want to consume each others love in a synchronized rhythm. When we get to my place, everything was so messed up. Everything was filthy. My cat did it. This is what you get for being a pet peeve. Hahahahaha! Instead of the planned consummation, we ended up cleaning my room. We were going back and forth. I was cleaning the cat's litter and mopping the floor also just to get the odor out. We were all sweaty. Dub Dub was kneeling on the floor. I hugged him from his back and kissed him softly on his cheek. He smiled at me. Then, I sat to the chair beside him and held his face, looked into his eyes and kissed his passionately on his longing lips. He kissed back. He kissed me so hard we tasted blood. He then moved his lips to my neck where he licked the sweat and kissed my neck tenderly. He then moved down slowly. He sucked my nipples and then licked it. He went from nipple to nipple. He let me stand and then he pulled down my pants while he started licking every inch of my body to my navel. When I was fully naked, he sat me on the chair and then he started going hardcore on my 5.5 inches member. He licked it like crazy. Sucked it like the last penis he'd ever had. I was moaning his name in pleasure. He was insanely and passionately making love to me. He was giving the best blow job that he could ever do. It turned me on so much that I pulled him up to kiss me. We changed positions now. I pulled down his pants and then slowly worked my way down. Kissing, sucking and licking every inch of his body while he was moaning my name in a passionate pleasure. I was sucking his 6 inch boner and was sucking his mushroom head. I was going hardcore on his huge member, licking and sucking every inch of it. Swallowing his testicles together and playing with it inside my hot mouth, he pulled me up and whispered; "I wanna fuck you!" I gave him a wink and I put myself into place. I prepared myself for the ride of my life. I sucked his dick and lubricating it with my spit. He also lubricated my tight-boy-pussy with his spit by finger-fucking it. Oooohhh! I was in moaning. I sat on a chair and put my legs apart. He knelt in front of chair where was sitting and then slowly inserted his dick. It was a bit painful. We needed more lube so I spit on his prick, spread the spit on his prick and then he started inserting it again. Slowly his mushroom head went through. We were staring at each others eyes while he was slowly inserting the whole of him into the very depths of my tight-boy-hot-pussy. He was inside me now. He paused for a while then he kissed me on the lips.Then, he started to pull it in and out of my ass. I was moaning in pleasure. He was pumping me like crazy. I told him to go fuck me faster and harder. He did it in obedience. I was whispering his name telling him how I love him. He fucked me liked forever. He was moaning saying; "Oh shit! I like it! I love it! Aaaaahhhhh! Shit! I'm cumming Lub Lub. Jerk yourself off. Jerk off Lub Lub." He came before I can even jerk myself off. I told him not to pull it out so that I can jack off. He was still fucking me slowly while I was jack myself so hard. I finally shouted; "Here cums!" And squirts of white liquid came spurting out my hard dick. Dub Dub bent over to kiss me. Then, he hugged me so tightly and whispered I love you in my ear. I kissed him and then held out his face and looked straight into his eyes. I was telling him how much I love him. The exact words were; "Myqel, I love you so much! I really love you!" Then, a tear came rolling down my cheek. I didn't realize I was crying. Then, he saw me cry and then he hugged me tightly. He started crying too. We were hugging each other while he was still inside me. We were together for about 5 minutes. Me and my Dub Dub all in one.

Dub Dub and Me by the Shore...

Dub Dub went home with me to meet my family in the province. We left the city last Friday night and arrived there last Saturday morning. When we arrived, I gave out the introduction. I was so happy to have Dub Dub meet my Dad too. Mum made us breakfast. She gave us milk and some loaves of bread to eat. After eating breakfast, we went to our local church. Dub Dub loves churches. Old churches to be specific. He loves to see the ancient antique structures of old churches. *giggles!* After showing him the church, I showed him the schools were I graduated. My high school and my elementary school. Then, we went to the beach after that. He was glad to see the open beach and the fine sand. He was looking at the Pacific Ocean also. He was so amazed with fine sand. It wasn't white. It was fine black sand. We walked beside the sea. The waves were amazing. We walked together, hand in hand, whispering our love for each other. We also wrote out "I love you's" in the sand. We wrote our names. We had a great time. Then, Dub Dub paused and asked me if he can kiss me. I told him that he can kiss me anytime, as long as he'd like. So, he got near me and kissed me on my lips. Then, he hugged me tightly and said; "Thank you for taking me home with you." He was teary-eyed. He felt so happy. I was so happy, too. Dub Dub really loves me so much. I know that. I feel that. I can see that. I want to stay in-love with Dub Dub. I love him. I love my Dub Dub so much.

A Night to Remember..

I had to wait for Dub Dub for dinner. Earlier in the afternoon, I was sending him text messages of how horny I am. I was telling him that I wanna jerk off to get my horniness off. He told me not to do that but to just go to sleep and jerk off with him later. *wink!* Well, I told him that I'll be waiting for him. I was teasing myself too to get myself soooo horny. I was jerking myself off then stopping when I'm about to come. Shit! I'm having an erection while I'm writing this post. Hahahahaha! When he arrived. He found me lying in bed in my boxer's. He looked at me with naughty eyes. I was pretending I was sleeping though. *wink!* He started to undress. He took off his shirt. Then, he took off his pants. He was now on his underwear. He was so sexy on his black underwear. My rod went from zero to a hundred in seconds. My Dub Dub always turns me on. Every time I see him in his underwear. He turned off the lights and crawled into bed with me. He went on top of me and put his weight on me while he started to kiss me. I kissed back and then he started going down my neck. He was licking and kissing my neck. I was moaning so much so I bit my lips. He went down and sucked my nipples hard. I was crazy. He went from one nipple to the other. He went down slower kissing every inch of my body. He licked the side of my abs and licked my belly-button as well. I was so turned on that I turned him over and I went on top of him. I kissed him on the lips. I kissed him so hard that we tasted blood. I licked his ears and then went down to his neck being very careful not to give him a kiss mark. I started to go down slowly. I licked his nipples, sucked it hard which gave him moans of pleasure. His moans turned me on so much I went hardcore from nipple to nipple. I started my way down, licking every inch of his body while I caressed his crown jewels with my right hand. I went hardcore on my favorite part of his body, his belt of Apollo. I love kissing that part of him. Every time my lips touch that area, he bends his back to the sound of erotic pleasure. I pulled down his underwear and licked his balls. I heard him moan in pleasure. I put both inside my hot waiting mouth and then played with it using my tongue. I licked his mushroom head and then licked his hard shaft. Slowly and gently, I started sucking his 6 inch prick. His moans were intense that I could cum in seconds just listening to it. Slowly I went down, and licked his tight-boy pussy. As I was going hardcore on his tight-boy pussy, he pulled me up and kissed me hard on my lips. He kissed me down to my nipples, sucked it softly and gently. He laid me back on our bed. He went down slowly, kissed my abs and licked my belly button. He licked my shaft, my balls and sucked my dick. I was in seventh heaven. He did a good job. He also licked my tight boy pussy. Oohhhh! I was moaning in pleasure. He was going hardcore on my 5.5 inch prick. That felt so good. I was so turned on that we ended up in a 69 position. We decided to jerk ourselves off. We were kissing and sucking each other nipples and lick each others ball. Finally, Dub Dub came with a quiver and said; "I'm cumming! I kissed him and I came too. He came on my chest and then we kissed passionately. He said; "I love you, Lub Lub!" And I replied; "I love you, Dub Dub!" Then, we dozed of to sleep with arms wrap around each other and cum still on each of our naked bodies.

Sleeping Lub Lub...

My schedule for work recently is 11:30 p.m. until 8:30 a.m. the following morning. I went home after work then hit the shower to get freshened up. I made a glass of warm milk and drink my Stresstabs to doze me off to sleep. After I took my bath. I went directly to bed and didn't know that I fell asleep. I woke to see my Dub Dub at the side of my bed, holding my hand and smiling so sweetly. He whispered "I love you!" when I started openning my eyes. I was so happy to see him. He had been there for about 15 minutes. He was running his hands through my hair. He kissed me on the forehead, on my cheeks and my lips. Without saying a word, he bent over to kiss me. I was so glad to see him. He was so beautiful today. He had to go ahead because his off for and interview. I wished him luck and we lip-locked. I will always remember that day. The day my Dub Dub was looking at me while I was deeply in slumber, dreaming about him.

Dub Dub Misses Lub Lub...

I went to the gym to work-out, where Dub Dub met me after. I was just walking around the mall to wait for Dub Dub. I was on my way to hit the arcade at Timezone when we met midway inside Timezone. He was so cute in his unbuttoned polo over his brown tee. I was so glad to see him. We went to the supermarket to buy a few stuffs. I was glad he went with me because the groceries were so heavy. I need a cute guy to help me with it. We also decided to have dinner together. So, we bought chicaron and fish tinola for dinner. We had a great time over dinner. We talk about a lot of things. We're kinda living together now. It's always nice to fell asleep and wake up beside someone you love. Someone dear to you. Dub Dub is one very dear person to me. I remembered one of his text messages when I was sick. He said; "I love you, Lub Lub. I may not be expressive in words, but, I love you dearly, Lub Lub." My heart cried reading this text. And he sent it right infront of me. I couldn't say or do anything. I just hugged him tightly, teary-eyed and gave him a soft gentle kiss on his lips. He was so sad at that time and I felt his love for me so much. He also sent me a text message during my lunch break. He said; "Dub Dub, I miss you sooo much! I'm starting to cry. It don't know why. It's weird." I sent back a reply saying; "Don't cry, Dub Dub. You still have me and I still love you so much!" I miss my Dub Dub again. I mean always and every time I close my eyes. I love you Dub Dub. I love you Myqel.

10 Things I Miss About Dub Dub...

I haven't seen Dub Dub in a while now. I miss Dub Dub. *sigh!* The way he talk. I miss his voice. The way he laugh. I miss the way his eyes disappears whenever he giggles. I miss him beside me. I miss the nights with him. The way we sleep together with his arms wrap around my body. Or how he sleeps soundly on my chest with my heatbeat lulling hin off to sleep. Or the way a wrap my arms around his body while I listen to the sound of his breath. I miss his hands holding me while we talk about love. I miss kissing his forehead good night. I miss the sound of his breath while I res my head on his chest whispering: " I can hear your heartbeat, Dub Dub." I miss him whispering thank you after I kiss him softly on the cheek. I miss looking through his eyes. I miss the way he cries. I miss the way he dozes off when I just got off the bed to pee. *giggles!* I miss my sweet sleepy Dub Dub. I miss the weight of his body on top of me. I miss giving him kissmarks on his belt-of-Apollo. I miss seeing him sleeping in his underwear and the nights we sleep in the raw. I miss my Dub Dub. I don't worry. He will be here soon!

Dub Dub is Sweet...

I heard a faint sound from my front door. Someone was calling out my name. I was surprised to see Dub Dub. Qieah and Rex was also there. Qieah told me that Dub Dub was a bit worried about me so he wanted to check on me before he went home. How sweet! *giggles* Dub Dub gave me a kiss on my longing lips. He also gave me LubDub, our stuffed puppy who was hugged by everyone at McDonald's. He won't be visiting me for a while because he might get measles, too. Oh well! That's so sad! No sex for a week?! That's way tough alright! Hahahahahaha!

Learn to Trust...

Dub Dub went to my room to check on me before he went to McDonald's to meet the gang. I told him to be careful and to enjoy the night. I told him that I was a bit worried because someone would be there. He told not to worry. All I need to do is to trust him. He told me also that he know his limitations and he know what he was doing. I told him that I trust him so much. I just don't trust some guy there. Then I gave out a sigh. You know what Dub Dub told me? He told me that the guy that I was jealous about is just a speck of dust floating in the air. We will not make him a root cause for the downfall of our relationship. I have won him over a lot of people. I need to trust him and we need to build our relationship stronger. I must learn to trust him.Dub Dub went to my room to check on me before he went to McDonald's to meet the gang. I told him to be careful and to enjoy the night. I told him that I was a bit worried because someone would be there. He told not to worry. All I need to do is to trust him. He told me also that he know his limitations and he know what he was doing. I told him that I trust him so much. I just don't trust some guy there. Then I gave out a sigh. You know what Dub Dub told me? He told me that the guy that I was jealous about is just a speck of dust floating in the air. We will not make him a root cause for the downfall of our relationship. I have won him over a lot of people. I need to trust him and we need to build our relationship stronger. I must learn to trust him. He bid goodbye and he went to McDonald's and then I started to doze off.

Be Strong Dub Dub...

I had to go undertime because I had rashes all my body. It was a bit itchy and my head was aching like hell. I thought I couldn't make it home. It was 3 o'clock in the morning. I couldn't take the cab because I don't have enough money to get a cab. I had to take a jeep. When I reached home I really wished my Dub Dub was there. I just went to bed directly. I just removed my shoes. I also sent Dub Dub a message that I went home and I was not okay but I'll be fine. When I woke up, I have a lot of messages from Dub Dub. I told him that I needed to get to a doctor to have myself checked. We don't have enough money to survive for a week especially now that I am sick. *sigh!* Dub Dub went with me to the doctor and to the lab for my tests. It was funny beacuse we were both wearing green-colored shirts. While I was inside the lab for my tests, Dub Dub was sending me short messages. Sweet messages like how he was so worried about my situation and how he felt so sad about my situation. He was so worried because I live in the city all alone. My parents were mot here. I told him that I would be fine. I've been living alone for 4 years now. And as of today, I was not alone. Dub Dub was there to help me. It is always a very nice feeling to have someone beside you to take care of you whenever you are sick or sad or happy. It is always nice to have someone beside you. And that is how my Dub Dub was doing for me. He was so worried about me. I told him to be strong because I will be leaning on him now for support. We went home after the tests. We also stopped by the pharmacy to buy me some paracetamol. We ate lunch together. We also took a nap before we went out to take my results. I was so happy to have Dub Dub on my side. I was out for a while so my blogs are a bit late. *wink!*

Lub Lub Ain't Feeling Well...

I ain't feeling well today. I went with Dub Dub to the pool where we met Miles, Choi, Eiyow, Whynn and Makmak. Dub Dub never wants to leave me in my room alone. He wants to see me just sitting by the pool side so he inssisted that I go with him. That's so sweet of Dub Dub. I enjoyed the time with him and with everyone as well. He looked cute on my trunks. Well, he looked hot as I may say. Hahahaha! I always have very good excuses to see him in his underwear. *wink!* After swimming, we went to McDonald's to met the whole gang. I was feeling a bit exhuasted and too tired to walk, but, Dub Dub told me that we go home after meeting the other guys. We said our goodbyes to Choi and Makmak. We went home and then Dub Dub let me sleep a bit while he prepared our dinner. How sweet of him to take care of me! When evrything was ready, he woke up with a sweet gentle kiss. He also made a warm glass of milk for me and gave me a soft kiss on the lips after. Dub Dub is my very first boyfriend who took care of me while I am feeling sick. Well, I guess I'll be sick for a while. I also felt sad when I saw him cry. He does not want me to get sick. I saw a very deep sadness in his eyes. I saw how Dub Dub loves me. I assured him that I will be alright. I told him to cheer up. We dozed off for a while after dinner. His arms wrap around my body to keep me warm.

Lub Dub, Lub Dub...

Scientifically, the heart beats twice. Figuratively, it beats for you and for another special person. So, there is really no room for a third party. Lub Dub, Lub Dub, Lub Dub... Just you and your baby. Just me and my sweet prince. That is why we endear ourselves with Lub Dub. I'm Myqel's Lub Lub and Myqel is my Dub Dub. Our hearts beat for one another, for each other.

My Favorite Mistake

I remember the night when I met Myq. I call him my sweet prince. It was February 9th. A week after my birthday. Lancelot invited me for a night-out because he will be introducing me to Whynn, my ultimate crush. It turned out to be the night where I met Myq. I was first atttracted to him because he was tall and he had a nice lean body. I also liked his sleepy spanish eyes which disappears everytime he smiles. His innocent looks and sweet face made me fall for him that very night. I made my first move. I don't know how I started a conversation with him but we had one hell of a talk. He talked about love, trust and frustrations. I also had my share of these things so I shared to him all of my frustrations also. (I didn't know if I got his attention, but when I asked him one time about that night, he told me that I stirred him with all my point of view.) I met him again the following day, he acted like we didn't had that conversation. I didn't reacted to it. I gave myself the thought that I'm not one on Myqel's type. I met him again on another night out, that was February 16th, I was a bit excited to see him but the usual thought that he won't be minding me at all gave me a reason that I won't be enjoying the night. I just went with my usual buddy, Lancelot. We partied, we drank. (Well, the group spends a lot on alcohol, pizza and fast food.) I saw him smiling. I saw him drank. I saw him kissing Whynn. I saw him kissing Levi. I hurt me a bit, but thinking that I don't have every right to get jealous or to get mad, I just enjoyued the night. I told myself that I just wanna be drunk tonight.When I got a bit tipsy, I was staring at him and smiling. Gavin caught me doing that and announced. Kilik likes Myqel. I just said, of course, I liked him from the very first day I saw him. I even gave out the exact date and place. He laughed and said: "Wow! You rememebered everything?" I just smiled and I know I blushed a bit. I was tipsy but I spoke with a sober heart. He went up to me. Held my hand and then sat beside me. I asked him to stay for a while and he was so kind to have stayed. I hugged him from behind and I rested my head on his back. I dozed off to dreamland. With Myqel's heartbeat lulling me to sleep. Here comes February 21st, Myq sent me a plain text message. It said; "Bleeeeh!" I replied; "Hello babe!" He didn't like the idea of being called Babe. I told him that I call everyone babe. He didn't like the idea. I didn't know what I did but we were back on talking about my feelings towards him. He also told me that he almost fell for me on the night that I fell asleep on his back. He told me that it was the sweetest thing that someone ever did to him. I asked him if we could go for more, spend more time together, be together, be in-love with one another. He refused since the pack would disagree. It was against the rule. I asked him if we could somehow break a few rules. Life was short. A love found one time may get lost for a lifetime. He told me that he could not do it. He likes me but he couldn't break the rules. But, he doesn't want me to leave the group. He still wants to see me there, mingling, talking ang enjoying the company.

Swimming...

Myq, Choi and me decided to take a dip in the public pool today. We had fun. I saw how happy Myq was. And you should have seen him in his small tight trunks. I almost drop my jaw. Well, I always have a good excuse to see him in his boxer's and even in his brithday suit. Hahahahaha! We he jumped into the pool, I was so proud that my boyfriend's a swimmer. He saved me whenever I am drowning in the pool. And then, drown me again in his heart-warming love.

Losing My Cookie

I recently had a talk with my Cookie. He was so paranoid of the thought of losing me. It was really a misunderstanding between what I told him and what he assumed to be happenning. He even bluffed that if I lie to him, he will also lie to me. I felt so sad at the thought. For a person who has been lied to a million times, a single thought of someone special lying to you would worry you. It did not worry me. It gave me paranoia. It gave a certain gap between me and my Cookie. I felt that I'm losing him. The only thing that I told him is the reassurance that I love him so much. The assurance that I am still willing to keep my Cookie in my Cookie Jar, so that he will always feel protected, cared and loved. Since, we were both persons who has been lied to, I am always here to assure my coookie about my feelings for him. He also gave me the assurance that I will never lose him unless I tell him to go. I am willing to keep my Cookie, as long as a can, as much as I could and as long as he would want me too.

My First Heartbreak

I was 16 when my heart started to fall for someone. We were good friends since we were kids. I was young and inexperienced. I didn't know what I was feeling. I had confusion on how I felt. I was thinking that this is an odd feeling that is never understood. And even, Shakespeare never understood love in the deepest possible sense, He wrote poems and stories about love, but, understanding a feelin? I do not think he understood that. Feelings are never understood. Feelings are felt, and more often than not we always try to ignore it. You should never be ashamed of your feelings. They're always true. You should never hide it. Show your feelings to the one person you want to share it with. If you are hurt, tell that person that you are hurt. If you are happy or sad or confused, tell that person how you feel about him. If you love that person, tell him that you love him. Every day, every minute, every moment that you feel like it. Hey, this was suppose to be my first heartbreak story. So, let me begin again.I was 16 when I fell in love for someone. (This isn't homosexuality. It is more of a deeper fraternal love for one another.) I was inexperienced, innocent and curious. He was cute and the smile on his face always reminds me on my own smile. I was 16 and he was 17. I was in 10th Grade and he was on his last year in high school. We go for a walk together. Stroll along the beach. Go running in the rain and go up the mountains to pick up spiders and store them in clear tubes. We were super buddies. We liked doing things together. He'd call me every night. We'd talked for hours on the phone. We'd go camping outside the house every weekend. We even built a treehouse together so we could hang out together undisturbed. We were inseparable. We were like brothers or more than that. We took care of each other.We never had any catch or any commitment. We just loved being with each other and doing things together. He would always come by the house with the smile on his face. I always love the way he would greet my Mum smiling. And his sleepy spanish eyes would always make me and my Mum smile, too.The school year ended. And here comes the summer sun. We went on a camping school together. We told ourselves that we should spend the summer together because he'd be going to the city for college by the end of summer. It broke tore my heart a bit but neglected that feeling. Thinking it would go away somehow.Here comes the summer and we enjoyed camping. We went swimming in the lake. We went fishing together, too. And the thing that we loved the most? Collecting spiders of all sorts and colors. We would stay away from poisonous ones though. We would climb trees and we would lay down on the grass looking at the sky trying to make out figures of the clouds that pass us by.Time passed by. The summer is about to end that year. We had campfire and decided to sleep under the stars. We were beside each other when he started telling me how he loved being with me all the time. How he loved looking at me smiling and how he loved taking care of me. Then, he told me with the deepest emotion the words; "I love you, Matthew! You're one great buddy!".My heart started to beat faster and faster, then, I also told him that I love him that much, too. And if I could, I would like to keep him forever. He went on top of me and I saw for the first time, in all those years, his eyes were flooded with tears.At that moment, I felt the same thing. We were losing each other. Then, he hugged me as tight as he could. I could not help myself but cry as well. Then, he kissed me on the lips. I kissed him back. We kissed each other while both of us sobbed. We were telling each other how much we cared for each other. How much we treasured each moment together.The kiss was about our deepest feelings for each other. Our friendship nourished for years of togetherness. No other way was sufficient enough to tell each other how much we feel for each other. How much we were like brothers and more than that how much we were in love with each other. Not a lustful kind of love but a fraternal love.We never kissed again after that night. We kissed once and I treasured that moment with him.Summer was about to end. He went to the city for college after the summer camp ended. We took one last glimpse on each other. Tears flooding our eyes. When the bus went off. I thought I'd never lived to see another day. I cried every night. Crying myself to sleep. It's f**cking hard. It's like losing a part of yourself. A very essential part of yourself. I missed our time together. I miss my friend.I don't care how people will judge my experience. I will never be ashamed of this. This has thought me how to love deeply and how to treasure your friends and the people around you. People who love you. I hope to see him again someday. I have not seen him in eight years. I hope he still remembers me how much we loved each since high school. How much we value each other's company. The night we kissed, the night we said; "I love you!". That night, I thought would never end.

Alch3mist's Simple Reminders

Don't let someone become a priority in life,when you are just an option in their life. Relationships work best when they are balanced. Never explain yourself to any one. Because the person who likes you doesn't need it, and the person who dislikes you won't believe it. When you keep saying you're busy, then you are never free. When you keep saying you have no time, then you will never have time. When you keep saying that you will do it tomorrow, then your tomorrow will never come. When we wake up in the morning, we have two simple choices. Go back to sleep and dream, or wake up and chase those dreams. Choice is yours... We make them cry those who care for us. We cry for those who never care for us. And we care for those who will never cry for us. This is the truth of life, it's strange but true. Once you realize, it's never to late to change. Don't make promise when you are in joy. Don't reply when you are sad. Don't take decision when your are angry. Think twice. Act wise. Time is like a river. You cannot touch the same water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life... First, I was dying to finish my high school and start college. And then, I was dying to finish college and start working. Then, I was dying to get married and have children. And then, I realize that I'm starting to forget how to live. Please don't let this happen to you. Appreciate your current situation and enjoy each day.

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