I'm (Still) Falling For You...

Dub Dub and I have little quarrels. I feel so sad about it. It will soon come to a point that it won't be healthy for our relationship anymore. I always assure Dub Dub that love him so much. Nothing has changed. I may have failed him at times or he might have failed me at times I make sure that the issue is resolved always. We still love with each other. Will be turning 3/4 of a year by then. I'm still happy I have Dub Dub by my side. If I can't hear your heartbeat Dub Dub, it means you're too far away...

The Alch3mist: Then and Now...

Buddha: Three Things That Matters

This is a text message from someone I used to date. He made me feel loved, important and significant to his life. But we have to move on, let go and set things free. Sometimes, things are not meant to last. Read on and learn like me...

>>

Let go!

Let God!

And then move one!

This is one lesson in life we have to learn.

Summer is not forever.

So is youth and beauty.

So is health and wealth.

So is power.

Life is more than letting go than holding on!

Buddha puts it beautifully:

"In the end, only three things matter:

how deeply we loved;

how fully we lived;

and how we let go of things or people not meant for us." <<

Love

Love is not when you can sleep,
it is when you want to keep your eyes open.

Love is not when you keep holding on,
it is when you learn to let go.

Love is not when you kill yourself with jealousy,
it is when you understand.

Love is not when you fall for someone,
it is when you catch the person when he falls.

Love is not when you see him everywhere,
it is when you close you eyes and he is still there.

Love is not when you tell him what you feel,
it is when you give up everything for his sake.

And love is not when you think you were blind,
it is when you knew you were wrong but you did not mind.


Lt. Kilik

Lovers for Achilles

Death of Patroclus

Boys with faces like
calm puddles
begging to be
messied up

stirred
aroused

deliver themselves
to his doorstep

messy hair
morning mouth

He welcomes them in
entertains their curiosity
with dry well
the empty wealth
of his years

Lovers for Achilles

He eats them
like fruit cake

Lovers for Achilles

He collects them
like flies

Lovers for Achilles
(are always good-byes)





K. M. Gantuangco

People

People change no matter how hard they try not to. As you grow older, you mature. And with each new level of maturity, it will come up of different ideas, different needs and different wants. The person who was perfect for you at twenty could be the person you hate most when you're thirty-five. Find someone who will grow old with you, change with you, laugh with you and cry with you. A person who fills in where you lack. A person whom you can fill for when they are lacking.

But, what about the perfect person?

They do not exist!

There are no perfect people, only people perfect for each other.

I have found mine.
Hope you find yours.

So Many Questions

I went home from work about half past two in the morning. Dub Dub was waiting by the roadside to meet me. I went down the bus and there he was standing. It was nice seeing him. I always feel safe when I’m with him. He’s tall about 5’ 11" and he puts his arms over me when we walk and nobody is seeing us. *wink!* Well, we walk home because the compound’s gate is about 8 meters from the main road. We were kidding each other and when Dub Dub whispered that he loves me. I just looked at him and then smiled and I told him that I love him just the same and that I was so glad to be home. He kissed me on the head just like a kid and I find it so sweet. I remember one time. He was away for the night because he had to stay with his scouts during the school camping. I was not able to send him updates on my whereabouts so he sent me a SMS instead. You know what it said? Well, he said in his SMS: "Dub Dub, it’s only you that I love. There is no one else. Please don’t look for another sweet prince, no one well ever be as sweet as me, okay?" I smiled when I read this SMS. It made my heart beat faster and slower at the same time. I just wanna look at his face when his asleep. One time, while watching him sleep, a tear rolled down me cheek. I never thought I would be right for Dub Dub. I wanna be with him for as long as forever. I undressed when we got home. Stripping slowly. Teasing him as I always do. Just to make the light the fire a bit higher. Hahahaha! I just had my underwear on and he was wearing my tee and his briefs too. He took off his brief and I went to bed with him with my undies on. I was a bit disappointed that night so I was kind of not in the mood. I lay down in the bed with my back on him for a while. I then turned around to face him and then I slowly reached for his head and then I gave him a passionate kiss. He couldn’t stop. He was so horny too. We haven’t had sex for about five days straight. He kissed me passionately. Dub Dub went on top of me and he kissed, sucked and licked my neck and ears. I was getting hornier with each kiss. He went down slowly. He sucked on my nipples so hard that I moaned in pure ecstasy. He went down my belly-button and then he licked my most erotic part of my torso, my belt of Apollo. He licked it like crazy I was moaning like never before. He motioned that I turn around because he wants to kiss my back. He kissed and licked my back and my triceps. I was moaning my hard-on was raging. He went down my butt and then licked and sucked my upper leg and then he licked the back of my knee which gave me much pleasure. Dub Dub then moved down and licked and sucked my toes. I cried in sweet pleasure. I moaned in sweet ecstasy. He flipped over and he saw my hard-on. He stroked it and then licked it. He sucked the bell-end shaped and then he slowly went down. He let my dick slid slowly into his hot mouth. He sucked it hard I could cum in his mouth that soon. He then positioned himself on top of me. He lubed up his ass and then he gently sat on my dick slowly until I was totally inside him. He was doing me. It was so good. He was on top of me for about 10 minutes then I told him that he should lie down and I should do the humping. So, I positioned to fuck him in a way that my whole dick went inside him. He was moaning in deep ecstasy. We were enjoying the moment until we both came together. I squirted my man juices inside him and he squirted his on his abs. I rested on top of him and we kissed passionately. We feel asleep hugging each other. We woke up at around nine in the morning. Still in-love with each other.

The Perfect Catch

Lovers at sunset.

It’s been a while. Well, work is exhausting me. I feel like quitting but I don’t have a choice. I have to stay on this job. *sigh!* The grass is no more greener on the other side, you know. It’s just the same. The challenges that you see now will be different from the challenges that you will see on the other side. I have plans. Lots of them. I try to balance my job, my family and my Dub Dub. I’m glad he has been with me through all this time. It’s always nice to go home and find your love one sleeping soundly; then he wakes up lightly to see you smiling and then he kisses you back and then falls back to sleep again. Last Monday, we phoned in sick for work. We felt like we don’t want to work. We just wanna spend the whole day together. If we could only quit our job and be with each other day-in and day-out, then we would do that. Reality says that we have to work to survive. We cannot live in the city. I could still remember how lonely it is if you don't have someone to confide your frustrations to. I’ve been there. I’ve been fooled. I’ve been hurt. I was almost afraid to to love again but then broken hearts found each other. We been there for each other and I have sacrificed a lot if things for Dub Dub and Dub Dub has sacrificed a lot of things for me as well. Dub Dub loves me so much that he chose me over his family. I’m worth the slaps on his face and a punch in his chest. I almost let go of Dub Dub because he failed one time but I kept him because he is worth the pain and tears. He’s a perfect catch. There are a lot of fishes in the ocean as there are boys in the LGBT network. He’s one of a kind a rare fish and you couldn’t find that fish anywhere in the ocean. I swam the ocean, fought sharks and jellyfish. I’ve swam with turtles, been swallowed by a whale and almost been breakfast. I’ve search the entire ocean looking for him and there he is, the perfect catch. I’m just glad always that Dub Dub has stayed with me through all these months. We vowed to be there for each other through thick and thin. I will do my best to keep him. He’s a catch and men like him are rare. They’re almost extinct. *grin!* I’m glad that we found each other. I’m glad we are together, completing each other’s heartbeat. Lub Dub, Lub Dub, Lub Dub, Lub Dub…

Unplanned Weekend "Go-Away"

The sun rising in Calubian.

I went on leave from Thursday ‘til Friday two weeks ago. I only told him that I went on leave on Thursday because I want to surprise him by dinner time. I want to spend time with Dub Dub. I planned the whole weekend too. I want to go swimming and then eat out. We like pizza and pineapple juice a lot. We like watching movies too. We haven’t watched a good movie lately. Well, this was s’pose to be my plan. However, his professor invited him to go to Leyte. It’s another big island east of Cebu.

We had a big fight. I don’t and to go and if I don’t go, I won’t let him go with them either.

The beautiful view of the strait from the next hill top.

Finally, I decided that we go. It was for fun anyway and we would also be earning a bit of money. It would help us in our daily expenses as well. The trip was free anyway and we need not to pay a single penny.

So off we go to Leyte. We took the ferry for 4 hours then we had a road trip for 2 hours. When we reached our destination, it was a great place. The small shrine is located on top of a hill overlooking the strait between Biliran Island and north-west of Leyte.

We had fun, even if we only had less time to sleep. Early in the morning, we went back to the city. That was Sunday. The skies in Leyte were dark. It promised rain and unfortunately we were drenched in rain. For two hours, we were soaking wet. I got sick. In fact, I still have my colds and cough. We were also absent the Monday after. We were so tired so we had to stay home together.

The Weekend in the Farm (Part II)

Me and Dub Dub bathing in the Pacific.

Sunday morning. We woke up to the cold air and the smell of the fresh fish that is being fried. I missed eating fish. Me and Dub Dub like "inun-unan" or fish cooked in vinegar. We liked "okra" or lady’s finger or scientific name is "Abelmoschus esculentus". Well, we like it steamed. We dip it in soy sauce mixed in vinegar to taste. We had milk, too. I like milk since then. I like it fresh. No sugar added. Just the taste of lactose. I like soy bean milk and Dub Dub’s milk as well. *wink!*

Dad went to the market early to buy fresh meat and fresh fish. We’ll have a picnic by the ocean. He cooked "humba". It’s pork cooked in water and sugar. Well, it’s a Chinese cooking. Passed on from generation to generation. And he’ll be passing it on to me. My dad is of Chinese decent you see. Dub Dub and I broiled the stuffed mackerel. Well, we have lots of these in town. We have tuna and salmon too. Our town is beside the Pacific Ocean and near the Philippine Deep.

Well, to give you a background. It’s a submarine trench in the floor of the Philippine Sea of the western North Pacific Ocean bordering the east coast of the island of Mindanao and tip of Leyte, where my town is located. The abyss, which reaches the second greatest depth known in any ocean, was first plumbed in 1927 by the German ship Emden. The reading obtained at that time was the first indication of the actual near-record depth. In 1945 the USS Cape Johnson recorded a sounding of 34,440 feet (10,497 m), slightly exceeded by the 34,578-foot sounding originally made by the Danish Galathea in 1951. They say it is also rich in liquid hydrogen (deuterium). The fuel needed to propel rockets.

Going back to the main subject, we were broiling fish. Me and Dub Dub had stuffed the fish with onions, tomatoes and garlic. We had fun broiling it. My sister was there too. We talked and laughed while we were doing it. I was almost burnt when I tried to turned the fish to it’s other side to cook. It’s not that easy as you think. You need a lot of concentration. Hahahahaha!

Everybody was working to get everything done. Mum prepared the picnic basket. When every thing was ready, we got dressed. Well, not really dressed. We were not going to a party; we’re going for a splash in the water. We were good. As usual, Dub Dub and I would just strip and then with our briefs on, we hurried down to the water. I was refreshing and the water was cool. The sky was clear. My Dad’s cousin was there too and her husband and her youngest kid. We had "tuba" or the local wine from coconut. It’s one of the town’s favorite. A party would not be complete without it. We had "pansit" too. Another of Dad’s Chinese cuisine. We had fun. We enjoyed the whole time. The longest weekend we had. We went home at around half past two. We had to go to Church because Mum wanted us too. Dub Dub wouldn’t want to miss church either.

My Dad is Buddhist and my Mum’s Catholic. I’m both so it makes my life neutral. Hahahahahaha! I practice a lot of Chinese culture as well.

We had early dinner too because were going to see the circus and stunts by 7 o’clock. Well, so it goes. Overall, It was a fun weekend and a great Sunday for all of us.

The Weekend in the Farm (Part I)

Me and my sister Karen.

We went home last August. It was really nice to be home again. I missed home and my family so much. Dub Dub missed them too. He has become part of my family too. Everybody was happy to see both of us. Saturday was fun. We arrived early morning on a Saturday. Everyone greeted us with a smile. We ate breakfast and then we snoozed off. We haven’t had much sleep on the boat and on the bus. I was nice to sleep on my bed again.

We woke up around lunch. Dad had cooked shrimp for us. I liked seafood. These are the things that I miss when I’m in the city. My Dad’s a great cook. Home cooking is what I always look forward too when I’m home. Mom’s best at desserts and my sister is good at cakes and pastries.
We had a nice lunch. You know what’s nice to do after a nice lunch? Yeah! Cat nap! Hahahahaha! We snoozed for a while and then woke up at around half past two. We got dressed and we took a dip in the ocean. Can you believe it? It’s the Pacific Ocean. Well, part of it. We were just on our briefs. Everyone was looking at us. Hahahaha!

We went home after. All dripping wet! *wink!* We took a bath. This time, it’s fresh water. Nice cool water from the deep well. Our deep well. I’ve been bathing with this water since I was born. Hahahaha! We went to the town’s wet market. We bought some little stuff. Dub Dub’s gonna cook dinner. He’ll cook sour pork soup. We had everything except for one thing. The "talbos ng kamote" or potato sprouts. It won’t be complete without it. I mean the taste would slightly be different without it. Anyway, we had to deal with it. We had a nice dinner. We were talking and laughing.

In the farm, we take our dinner early. Between half past five to half past six. Well, don’t ask me why. It’s just the way it is. It was almost the town’s feast day. The streets were almost crowded. People here and there. I saw a lot of my old friends and my old teachers. We went out on a Saturday night to the town’s plaza. We took pictures of ourselves. We ate popcorn. We had mango shake too. I wasn’t a shake after all but it tasted like mango to be fair. Hahahahaha! We had wacky pictures. Dub Dub had nice tricks with the camera. We just wanna chill out. The city is an exhausting place to live in. If I could live with my family and not work; well why not? Nothing beats staying home. Hahahaha!

We went home. Everybody went to bed. Me and Dub Dub stayed late. We watched TV and a few porn movies. Hahahaha! We went to bed horny. Horny as hell. Well, you know what happened? We had a nice crazy sex! It was so nice we came together. I came inside him and he felt how warm my cum was. We kissed while I was still inside him. His tight boy pussy was warm as well. We cuddled and I pulled off. We didn’t wash up. We just snuggled together. The smell of our cum in the air.